How To Build Happiness As A ManBy Toby Tunwase
Even though men hardly speak about it or get counseling on it, many are dealing with depression and unhappiness in their lives. Experts in psychology make it clear that men feel a deep sense of despair as a result of economic difficulties. An interview with men who were forced to face the harsh realities of the economy revealed that men generally feel like they have failed when they are unable to give their families the life they want. One respondent said that this inability felt like “he had been castrated.”
However, unhappiness in the male specie may also come in the face of great success. One such example is Mo Gawdat, who built a successful and illustrious tech career which culminated in him becoming the Chief Business Officer at Google X. Yet, he stated that throughout that period he was always unsatisfied, never feeling true happiness even from his family. The implication of this is that success is not the recipe for unhappiness.
Interestingly, it was Mo’s realization of his unhappiness that led him to find out the keys to happiness. Using his skills and experience as an engineer, Mo developed specific models that could help men achieve satisfaction.
According to his model, we are unhappy when events do not meet our expectations. Therefore, changing our perspectives on expectations and events can affect our happiness.
Lastly, in his book “Solve for Happy,” he stated some mantras on happiness that help. They include:
- Don’t search for happiness; eliminate the things that make you unhappy
- Success is not essential to happiness
- Happiness is our default state