Helping Men Heal And Find ThemselvesBy Toby Tunwase
Psychologists have pointed out that several men are severely struggling from emotional and psychological wounds. These wounds come from challenges that supposedly define their “manliness” when in fact, these challenges have destroyed their “humanness.”
One major wound comes from the fact that men have been taught to attach their sense of self-worth to their work and ability to provide. Therefore, a man without a job or who suffers a loss of employment for whatsoever reason may immediately go into depression because his “manliness has been destroyed.”
This troubling state that men find themselves in was expertly summarized by Herb Goldberg, the author of “Being Male”: “Male privilege and power have come at a heavy price for the male. He is disconnected from his emotions and body. In playing the male game, he is destroying himself on all levels: mentally, emotionally, and physically.“
In helping men deal with this societal conditioning, Jed Diamond has authored a book titled 12 Rules for Good Men”. The book contains 12 rules that may help men heal from the hurts of “male-ness” and help them find themselves.
These rules include:
- Joining a men’s group
- Getting rid of the “man box.” I.e., the set of damaging beliefs on what it means to be a man.
- Dealing with the fear and hatred for women
- Addressing and healing from the absence of a father
- Discovering life’s goals and saving humanity
- Undergoing meaningful rites of passage from youth to adulthood and then to elderhood