Signs Point To Stupid: 35+ Dumb Signs That Make Us Laugh

Signs make the world go round. Without them, we would be completely lost. Need to find a restroom or a restaurant? There is a sign to guide you to one. Unsure if you can take a shortcut on a desire path? A sign will warn you of potential dangers. Today we won’t be discussing the regular “wet floor” or stop or street signs. No, we will be showing you far more amusing ones that were posted on a Facebook group, Useless, Unsuccessful, and/or Unpopular Signage.

If you look for one irl, we’ve got a sneaky feeling that poor-quality signs are actually all around us. Wink-wink. That would be a more accurate quote from Love Actually. Anyway, have a grand ol’ time looking at these hilarious posts that feature ninja chickens, spelling mistakes, and so much more! Caution: Bad signs ahead!

Ninja Chickens

Guard dogs? That’s so last year. How about getting chickens to protect your property? Yes, we know that’s actually ridiculous. This isn’t much of a warning sign. Some people are scared of chickens, but we don’t think trespassers will fear “Highly trained chickens.”

This sign mentions that they will not be responsible for injury or possible death. Excuse us, what? Chickens do have sharp beaks, but we seriously doubt they would be able to take down a person. Good “cluck” to them if they think this sign will help.

Nah to the Ah to the No, No, No

Woah. Correct us if we’re wrong, but aren’t restaurants supposed to have welcome signs, not one threatening to take people to court? This is possibly a sign for non-paying customers, but still, who wants to dine at a place like this?

We suggest they ditch the sign that displays their anger issues and replace it with a friendlier one, or better still, don’t put up a sign at all. It is just a restaurant; there’s no need for so many rules. They need to chill out.

Ironic Sign

“Give cyclist space.” That applies to you as well, sign! Whoever was responsible for this clearly didn’t have their thinking caps on. If you’re wondering, this is in Sydney, so if you live there, watch out for the useless sign in the bike lane.

And we can’t overlook the one car in the distance chilling in the bike lane. It was a waste of time and money to put up this sign. Cars stay in your lane, and signs stay out of the lanes. Thanks for coming to our TED talk.

Kerning Disaster

“We’re all in this to get her.” We don’t remember that lyric from High School Musical. In all seriousness, the spacing of the letters on this sign is absolutely atrocious. We wish it was possible to fix it through the screen.

Before making another sign, the person who put this together needs to educate themselves on kerning—the process of adjusting the spacing between letters. Thanks to them, we won’t be able to see the word “together” the same way ever again.

Toilet Seats One

We want to give special thanks to this sign for making us aware that a toilet can only seat one person at a time. Without you, we wouldn’t know this. This is a silly sign, but maybe it was necessary. To be fair, we don’t know exactly what went down.

Some people put “no diving” signs above toilets as a joke. We don’t think this was placed here just to make people laugh. When nature calls, you can’t ignore it, and if there’s only one toilet… You know the rest; we don’t have to say it.

Translation Fail

According to this wet floor sign, we mustn’t be careful of slipping. We must carefully slip and fall down. See, this is why translation apps are our enemy. Take this as a sign to ask someone fluent in a language to help you with a translation project.

Luckily this mistake wasn’t plastered on a billboard on a busy road for everyone to see. If someone hadn’t posted this, we don’t think many people would have even noticed the funny translation. Take a look around you; everyone’s too focused on their phones.

Foolish Notice

Notice. You are about to see the most useless sign. There’s no need to place a sign on a door saying that you will tell a customer to leave if they use that exit if they are already leaving. Tsk-tsk, they’re just wasting paper.

We see that they want customers to leave them a review on Google. We will happily leave a one-star review mentioning that their passive-aggressive sign that doesn’t make sense. Ok, we’re feeling quite generous. We would give at least two stars because it is quite funny.

Do Not Read

Oh no, we’re in big trouble. We just read a private sign that’s in a public space that no one is allowed to read. Hey Siri, please search “how to unread something.” The search came up with nothing because that can’t be done. Oh well. Too bad, so sad.

A sign with bold red letters and exclamation marks is going to attract some attention. What’s their plan if they actually catch someone looking at it? They can’t arrest the passerby. Last time we checked, reading is not a crime.

Free Soap

We didn’t think that we would ever see the word “soap” on the same sign selling food, but here we are. Giving out free sanitizer so that people could clean their hands before eating would make more sense than soap.

Fried chicken, unlimited rice with free soap for only fifty pesos? What a bargain. We don’t get why they are throwing soap into this sweet deal, but as long as it’s not in the food, we are cool with that.

Invincible Moose

There’s an invincible moose on the loose. It was a big mistake to choose this photo for the warning sign because people aren’t taking it seriously. As you can see, it has been the target of Photoshoppers who have changed the text.

We think that they should stick with moose warning signs that just have the silhouette of the creature on them. There are so many people that have a good sense of humor, so it’s bad to have a distracting picture of an “invincible moose” on the road.

Always Read the Fineprint

We hope this sign is the work of a talented photoshopper, and its only purpose is to make people laugh. It would be very concerning to know if there is a real sign that has a large print with a useless warning and an important message in teeny tiny letters.

Signs are sharp, but we haven’t heard of any injuries relating to them. Does anyone ever just approach random signs and touch them? We are assuming the answer is no. We would rather be warned about the bridge up ahead, thank you.

Captain Obvious

“Broken door do not use.” Thank you, captain obvious. Broken is an understatement, by the way. We would say the door is broken if the lock wasn’t working. It looks like someone took this down with a bulldozer. Even if there wasn’t any caution tape, there still wasn’t a need for a sign.

If they took the unnecessary sign and tape away, we wonder if someone would still try and use the toilet. People are used to the giant gaps in bathroom stalls exposing them to others, so it is a possibility, especially if they’re desperate.

AND?

There is nothing worse than seeing an incomplete sentence. This sign is so frustrating and. See! We’ll find it in our hearts to forgive them for their annoying mistake on the sign if they give us a slice of that yummy cake in the background.

We would like to see the open sign for this place. We would laugh hysterically if it said “we are open AND.” That would irritate people one hundred percent. We don’t need more incomplete sentences. Sorry, we’re moving on to the next picture AND. Lol, we couldn’t help ourselves.

Warning Sign

“Beware of signs.” Oh, probably because of the sharp edges. Was there no animal or something that is actually dangerous that they could warn us about? We don’t think they had any important signs to display, so they wanted to fill the space with something. That’s what it looks like to us.

We frequently heed the warnings on signs, but we don’t believe this one requires our attention. Anyway, we are more focused on that breathtaking view. Wow, those mountains are lovely. You’d think the sign would say beware of a possible avalanche with all that snow.

Joey Special

Have you ever heard of a better deal than buying two pizzas and paying for them both? You definitely have because that’s not a special unless there is a free pizza that they’re throwing in, and they just failed to mention it on the sign.

We would be so disappointed if anyone actually thought there getting a great deal. We’d like to think that no one would fall for this, but there’s a chance someone will. You know what special this is? It’s a Joey special—two pizzas, like in the show Friends.

Gas Station’s Special Diesel Fried Chicken

Kentucky Fried Chicken is finger lickin’ good. Unfortunately, it seems this place only sells diesel fried chicken. Seeing as there’s only one motorcycle parked out front, we can’t imagine it being very good. But seriously, we’re sure that sign is scaring customers away.

Next time, we suggest they invest in two signs to advertise their services. It also wouldn’t hurt to put some potted plants out front and a bright coat of paint on the walls to make it look less like a setting in a horror movie.

Showing Some Self-Love

Memorial plaques were designed to honor a loved one who has passed on, not to honor a person who is alive. We’re not going to lie, this is hilarious, but people have the right to hate on it if they think someone may have wanted to put an actual memorial plaque.

Instead of paying money for a plaque on a bench, just do what normal self-centered people do, post a selfie, or put your face on a billboard. We’re pretty relieved, though, that this person only got a plaque made. A billboard would be a lot worse.

F Minus- Super Fail

Employee bathrooms typically have a sign reminding the workers to wash their hands. This bathroom, however, only wants its employees to have hands. Hey, that is discrimination. Setting the unfortunate mistake aside for a sec, we hope they do clean their hands.

Do you know what’s worse than the “employees must have hands” mistake or more frightening than the poster above it? It’s the fact that people actually need signs to remind them to wash their hands after using the toilet. Yuck!

Cloopseend

We love a sign that is indecisive, and no, we’re not talking about Geminis. We’re talking about this sign on the road that couldn’t decide whether it wanted to say open or closed, so it just says both. Now it just looks like it says, “Cloopseend.”

Cloopseend is our new favorite word. Does it mean anything? We don’t think so. Is it fun to say? Yes, it is. Thank you to whoever made this bad sign, it may not look aesthetically pleasing, but we’re happy to have a new word to add to our vocabulary.

We Hope You’re Hungry… For Nothing

Attention all bargain shoppers, ‘“I hope you’re hungry…For nothing!” That meme is quite fitting for this scenario. They want to call this a saving? How terrible. We want to see at least ten percent off whatever product they’re selling instead of 0.017 percent.

Imagine if someone was waiting for this product to go on sale, and it finally does, only for them to see this disappointment. We would take our business elsewhere if we came across this. This sign is absurd, but we’re not laughing.

Misplaced Letter and a Flaming C

Welccme everyone to this terrible sign. No, that wasn’t a typo. We just copied what they have on the sign. We’re guessing the letter “o” fell off, and they’re just using that as a temporary replacement. That, or someone was having an off day and superglued it on.

You know how some people completely forget how to function if someone is watching them do a task? We think that is what also could’ve happened here. Anything is possible! It’s a pretty cool flaming C. It at least deserves to be in the right spot.

Switching Things Up

For our next magic trick, we will make this switch disappear! Ha, unless there’s a company manufacturing invisible switches, there is nothing for people to press to call someone to service the bathroom. Maybe there was a switch, and they had it removed because people were using it too often.

If this restroom needs servicing, then oh well, no one is going to come to clean it because there is no switch to press. Do you think we’ve just been Punk’d? It’s highly unlike that Ashton Kutcher revived his old TV show to do this, but life is full of surprises.

Insensitive R Us

Aw, man! We’re so upset. We thought this sign was advertising a toy store for dogs, but no, it’s a restaurant. Oh yeah, it’s obviously also upsetting that a worker of theirs passed on. It’s a bit inappropriate that they announced they are looking for a new employee right under, “RIP Chris.” Come on, do better, people.

TMI. We feel like our system has overloaded. One can go on a rollercoaster of emotion because of this sign. A person will first feel hungry, then sad, and then happy about a possible job opportunity. Wow, that’s a lot!

Ominous Sign

Let’s play a game of never have I ever. Never have I ever gotten onto a metro that has a terrible sign that said, “Never get on.” We haven’t, but this person has. Yikes, this sign just gave us the chills. This would fit better in a movie adaptation of a Steven King novel.

This is not a great sign to have on public transport. We’re sure that after reading this, people would rather take the bus. Hmm, now that we thought about this could be a photoshopped sign. To be honest, we would be relieved.

Play on Words

Hey, look, it’s a sign that shows a person being assaulted by a monitor. Really? No, it’s just a sign to show that a person is being watched by cameras. Those types of signs should make criminals feel intimidated, not make them laugh.

It might be a play on words that people find funny now, but in a few years, no one will get it. In fact, most youngsters haven’t seen these types of computers before. We don’t like this sign because we get the joke, and it makes us feel old.

There Are No Guarantees in Life

We guarantee you’ll love this sign no matter how much you hate it. If you think that was a great example of an oxymoron, just wait till you see this sign. “We guarantee fast service no matter how long it takes.” They’re not guaranteeing us anything. We’re shaking our heads right now.

Insert voice from SpongeBob: “four hours later…” That’s when you can expect them to get to you. No establishment can promise fast service to their customers. Technically, they’re not, because they can’t guarantee how busy they are at any time. Oh well, while people are waiting, they’ll have a funny sign to entertain them.

Please Slow Drively

Here’s a message for all the people on the road; “Please slow drively.” According to the person who had this made, this was done on purpose. They think drivers will slow down to read the mistake. Forgive us, but we don’t think this design is the best.

This sign is set up right outside of a preschool which is not a good idea because kids are learning to read, and they’ll think this is the correct way to say it. Oh no. Anyway, always remember to drive slowly, not slow drively.

Brain Fart

Look what we have here, a person who didn’t do well in their spelling bee competitions. E-X-I-T-I-N-G, exiting. Ha, we would win a spelling competition. Anyhoo, fortunately, this isn’t a major mistake. Some signs are difficult to read, but this isn’t one of them.

Normally a parking garage is very dull. At least this one comes with a funny sign fail. Now when you go out and about and you park in a garage, you can make a little game out of trying to find a sign like this. If you find one, you can also share it online.

Unfinished Research

The institute of popular signage has concluded that six out of ten people are not at all enthusiastic about this sign. This sign is creative but also annoying at the same time. We seriously want to know what the results are for.

Just like words have power, so do the spaces in between thoughts. If something is left unsaid, it could lead us to ask the real questions. Our question is, why would they leave us hanging? It’s going to drive people mad.

Dressing Up Coconuts

What’s going on in Scotland? This sign seems pretty normal at first, but as you go down the list, it gets weird fast. Why would there be dressing rooms in a tourist attraction? And, more importantly, what’s with the coconuts?

The only way this could make sense is if it was a place where LARPers act out Monty Python and the Holy Grail. You need a place to get into costume, and you can’t gallop around without two halves of a coconut.

Watermelons are the New Pineapple

$1.99 is a great price for pineapples, or is tomatoes? Or watermelons? This sign says the deal is for pineapples, but the boxes and fruit that’s in them tell us otherwise. We’re sure this shop would make many sales with this deal, if only they got organized.

People are often in a rush when shopping, so if they see this sign, they will not be pleased. People will have to waste many precious minutes out of their day trying to figure out where the pineapples are actually located.

Hot Crack Filling

This large sign might be stealing the spotlight, but we want to discuss the small one that says, “Hot crack filling.” According to the person that shared it, it sounds like a vulgar joke. If you don’t get it, then you have a pure mind. Good for you!

Henry Ford once said, “The man who stops advertising to save money is like a man who stops a clock to save time.” We say this person should’ve kept their money rather than spending it on signs that people are making fun of.

Here a Sign, There a Sign, Everywhere a Sign-Sign

Here is a sign that reminds us of the Cloopseend one. We bet you thought you’d seen the last of the “Cloopseend” sign, but here is a shop that also can’t decide whether they are open or closed. Unlike the “Cloopseend” one, these signs are displayed in different places, so at least it’s not as unclear.

These two signs pose a problem if someone is looking at the shop from a distance. The open sign is significantly larger, so that is the one that people will notice first. The sign on the door should be the one that stands out, as that is the one that indicates whether it is open or closed.

Ina-Pro-Pro Signage

People, you better watch out because Subway is gonna steal your girl. Lol, gross. Who knew this sandwich shop would put up such a scandalous sign? Don’t families frequent the fast-food restaurant often? “Subway be into fitness, fitness foot long in your mouth.” That does sound ina-pro-pro.

If you don’t understand it, then count yourself pure. All we can say is the “fitness” part sounds like “fit this.” So it basically says Subway be into fitness. Fit this foot long in your mouth. Wow, we are shocked.

Sorry for the Convenience

This isn’t the worst sign we’ve seen, but technically there’s no need to put up an out-of-order sign for an escalator because you can still use it. At least the message was written on a nice sign, not just a piece of paper.

In our opinion, a quote from comedian Mitch Hedberg would’ve made a funnier sign. “An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an escalator temporarily out of order sign, just escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” Now that’s comedy gold.

Spelling Struggles

Clearants? Cleerants? Ah, clearance; that’s the one. If only they could have gone to check the spelling on a sign in the store. It is so funny that the last person just gave up and said, “At a reduced price.”

We can sit here and critique their spelling, it is shocking, and an English teacher would be very disappointed, but it made it to the right place, so a win is a win. They must just remember there is no “ants” in the word “clearance.”

Word Puzzle

Someone grab us some popcorn; we’re going to be here a while trying to figure out what this says. Our best guess is, Camp Wamy What Matter You, or Camp What A Matter You. The real question is: what’s the matter with the person who made this sign.

We’ve seen some buses have a sign that says, “How’s my driving? Call this number.” Well, signs should have a sign that says, “How do you feel about this?” We’d call to complain that it left us scratching our heads, and we’re not happy about it.

Sticky Situation

It feels like it was yesterday that we saw signs in every shop requesting that people sanitize their hands. 2020 was a tough time that didn’t leave many with fond memories. On the bright side, it gave us this hilarious sign.

We’re happy to say that, after such a dark time, we have something to poke fun at. If it weren’t for the people who bathed their hands in sticky syrup, we wouldn’t have this sign. This was shared on the useless signage Facebook group, but to most, it seemed like it was pretty necessary.

Red Flag

We want to create our own sign to place above these taps. Warning: do not drink from either of these taps because the “drinking water” one seems to be coming from the same source as the “not for drinking tap.”

Admittedly, we aren’t plumbers. Perhaps the right tap has a filter. But if a person can help it, they should avoid drinking from that. A drinking water sign should not be located right next to one that says not for drinking. That is a red flag.

Road to Nowhere

Road rage is usually caused by another driver on the road, but we would have rage on the road if we had to deal with this signage. If you’re wondering, the signs indicate a one-way street, a dead end, and no entry all at the same time. Yikes!

This sign is located in Glasgow, Scotland, so if you ever drive there, just hope you don’t come across this sign. If you live there and have to deal with this terrible sign all the time, we would like to offer our sincerest apologies.

So Close

“We’re close. Push.” Surprisingly the same words spoken to a mother giving birth were written on signs on a door of a store. It’s funny that a missing letter can give a sign a whole new meaning. We also wanted to add, they should only have the push sign up when the store is open.

“We’re close.” Yes, they were indeed so close to spelling the word closed. All they needed was the letter “D.” They need some new signs, preferably ones that look more professional, and don’t make them sound like a maternity ward.

Out of Order

We need an out of order sign over here to replace the current one. The tap fell apart so now this sign can be deemed quite useless. Either they fix the tap, remove the sign, or at the very least, leave a bottle of hand sanitizer for the employees.

If the tap keeps breaking, they need to have a “please push this switch” sign if this restroom needs servicing, but there needs to actually be a switch, unlike the one we saw earlier on. Hopefully, there is a working tap somewhere else that they can use before returning to work.

We Don’t Talk About Thursdays

According to this sign, there are only six days in the week. Now we gotta change the Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling Lyrics” to “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday.” In all seriousness, if they are actually open on Thursday, this sign could lose them a lot of money. People will think they’re closed!

This is how they can remember Thursday, according to Joey from Friends, “Thursday! Look if you need help remembering just think of it like this: the third day. All right, Monday, one-day, Tuesday, two-day, Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day.” They should never forget to write it on their sign now.

Say What?

This is a traffic sign to tell motorists to slow down and let pedestrians cross. It’s truth day today, and we must admit that when we first looked at it, we thought, “huh, what is this for?” There’s a walking man, an arrow and words, and a yield sign. There’s too much going on.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what is wrong with this sign, but we think that it just looks confusing. We could see first-time drivers struggling to make out what this sign is for. Especially if they learned that yield signs are shaped like triangles pointing down.

Please Take Note

Given that some have stated that they find this sign offensive, we would like to formally apologize on behalf of those who made it. The purpose of this sign is to alert drivers to the crossing locations for the visually impaired. Others, however, are unsure of how a blind person is supposed to benefit from this sign.

We hope there is an accessible pedestrian signal (APS) set up to assist those in need. When they have the right of way, this device signals it using sound and vibration. We have no way of knowing if this is installed at this location, but we strongly believe it should be.